Posts tagged society
what’s with that
Oct 21st
The Mafia:
They kill people.
They shoot them, they strangle them with a thin wire, they cut whole bodies up with pocket knifes, they smash bones with sledgehammers, they cut people up with tablesaws, they bury your legs in concrete and throw you in the ocean alive, they will throw a molotov cocktail in your house while you are watching American Idol, they will be sent out on a “hit” only to realize moments before the bullet enters their own brain that they were really they have been betrayed and they are the ones who are going to die. They will kill you in front of your family, then kill your family.
To me, this seems like quite a bit on someones mind to keep them awake.
So why do they drink espresso out of those tiny cups?
It just doesn’t make any sense.
Thanks – But I already I know I’m Fast
May 5th
I bet you didn’t know this about me. But I go to the bathroom (#1) faster than anyone I know. Nine times out of ten the first thing I hear when I exit a bathroom is ”did you even go?” It’s quite embarrasing. How do I deal with it you ask? I just hang out in the bathroom after I go. Honestly there isn’t much to do there and its quite boring – but welcome to the life of a speed pisser.
It’s better than people thinking I have a bladder problem, or better yet that I am some kind of pathological piss liar.
America has already seen a black president, gay marriage, and legalized marijauna, however fast pee’ers are still NOT WELCOME.
of course, of course
Dec 3rd
I think if Humpty Dumpty were to fall today, all of the kings horses and all of the kings men would just google search how to put him back together thus rendering the whole story obsolete. It wouldn’t have even received one digg.
Which, in all honesty, this is the first time I ever thought about that nursery rhyme.
Why did the king turn to his horses for advice on putting him back together?
Were horses a lot smarter in the early 1800s? Maybe we should be considering them in all of our decisions today? They still manage to convince the police to use them when the police have cars and other faster more efficient non pooping tools to use. I don’t really know… but I really wish I had a horse to talk this over with.
stop whining!
Nov 18th
You know what I don’t get?
When people say they can’t sleep.
Not once have I ever met one of these people who say “they can’t sleep” tell this to me while they were in bed trying to sleep.
They are usually in the kitchen, or on the couch watching TV. None of these activities ever involve the necessary actions it takes to sleep, like a bed, sheets, pajamas and closed eyes.
I might as well openly announce things I can’t do either when I am clearly not trying to do them, lets see…
I can’t chainsaw a tree down
I can’t defrost my refridgerator
I can’t learn to play piano
I can’t write a successful blog
can you spare a square?
Nov 8th
Society, I think we need to take a step back.
Well, maybe not society, it could just be me. I am saying this because today I chose a dirtier stall over a cleaner one. Not because there was more TP available in the dirtier one, but through a year and a half of trials and testing I knew I could get better cell phone reception in the dirtier one.
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