Posts tagged health
Khee khee khoo
Oct 6th
Your momma 2009
Sep 24th
As the youth are getting older (apparently by the second) and having children, it’s come to my attention that the diseases they got in the late 80’s and early 90’s are still with them today, which makes me ask: What is a kid supposed to tell his friends is growing on his moms upper lip? If they don’t already make fun of him for being fat and poor, his mom having herpes lip can’t be helping his case either.
Next time you bone, think twice for the kids!
“your mommas herpes is so bad she can only supress 2 days out of 30″ DISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got served!
the kids are alright
Mar 20th
According to a new study from the American Heart Assocation, it seems to be reasonable OK for the youth of America to start using Cocaine.
A new study by the American Heart Association warned Monday that cocaine use in young or otherwise healthy patients could sometimes cause heart attack symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, anxiety, palpitations, dizziness, nausea, heavy sweating and palpitations
The keyword here is “symptoms”, so why stop all the fun of the coke just for a little afterwords anxiety.
…which after looking them over seem more like symptoms of wanting more cocaine and not symptoms of heart explosion.
An ex-drug user and fallen soldier Mitch Hedburg once said “I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, “Doesn’t wine give you a headache?” “Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!”, which applies perfectly here, why stop using cocaine because of what will happen afterwards?
PS. I am not sure if the picture relates to this, however it made the first page of results on a google image search for heart exploding, so I went with it.
bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay
Feb 1st
Dear Doctors,
Overall, I’m the most perfect person I know. So plastic surgery is a no-go.
However, if they can figure out a way to change me so I don’t get shocked when I touch metal, I’ll be the first to sign up.
No matter how buff, strong, smart, cool, funny, sweet or perfect a person you are, it fuckin hurts, and I hate it.
dear lawmakaZ
Jan 16th
After reading this article about a New York construction worker being forced into a rectal examination after an on the site construction accident, I would like to propose a check box on our licenses, similar to the organ donor, authorizing if we want objects-in-the-anus or not.
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