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zeinfeldisms
In the not too distance future
Oct 2nd
People will have to teach their children how to do “stationary uploads”.
Stationary Upload [stey-shuh-ner-ee uhp-lohd]
- Verb
- To transfer data while sitting down.
Tinas iPhone broke, so she was forced to do a stationary upload of all her photos to Facebook. She nearly killed herself because of the amount of time it took.
The next time you think about molesting
Sep 29th
I don’t think we should go as far as not allowing sex offenders to own homes.
However I do think their homes should have to be made of clear materials so we can always see whats happening inside.
#1!
Sep 28th
JZ is proud to announce he is the number one search result on Microsoft’s new search engine Bing…
For what?
Read below!
License to tase
Sep 25th
I think one place that tasers should be allowed to use pretty openly is at the airport during bad weather.
Why do people become crazy when planes can’t fly? They start yelling at the ticket counter people as if they can send God a text message and have him correct to the weather so they can get to their family reunion.
Do you really want to fly if the weather is bad? Is it really worth the risk?
If you are willing to take the risk and cause a commotion, then you should also be willing to take 50,000 volts to the neck.
Your momma 2009
Sep 24th
As the youth are getting older (apparently by the second) and having children, it’s come to my attention that the diseases they got in the late 80’s and early 90’s are still with them today, which makes me ask: What is a kid supposed to tell his friends is growing on his moms upper lip? If they don’t already make fun of him for being fat and poor, his mom having herpes lip can’t be helping his case either.
Next time you bone, think twice for the kids!
“your mommas herpes is so bad she can only supress 2 days out of 30″ DISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got served!
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