zeinfeldisms
The Million Dollar Question
Feb 27th
Want to be an Office Comedian?
Nov 11th
Office humor advice: When there is a weird (but good) smell floating around the office, and for example someone says “it smells like pizza in here” – just say “it’s my new cologne, ‘pizza’.” Then insert a famous perfume makers name here like Gucci, while also changing the food name to something more elegant.
So to review:
Person A: Whats that smell? it smells like hot dogs.. does anyone else smell it?
Person B: It’s my new cologne “Frankfurter” by Jean Paul Gaultier.
Let the LoLz roll in.
simple number crunching
Nov 2nd
When the state fixes or repairs roads, they feel the need to charge us double for traffic violations. It is only fair that we get a discount if the road is old or if there are other problems with the road. Maybe Sundays can be 35 percent off because the road was built by the WPA or half off Tuesdays because of excessive potholes.
popsickle stick fun
Nov 2nd
what’s with that
Oct 21st
The Mafia:
They kill people.
They shoot them, they strangle them with a thin wire, they cut whole bodies up with pocket knifes, they smash bones with sledgehammers, they cut people up with tablesaws, they bury your legs in concrete and throw you in the ocean alive, they will throw a molotov cocktail in your house while you are watching American Idol, they will be sent out on a “hit” only to realize moments before the bullet enters their own brain that they were really they have been betrayed and they are the ones who are going to die. They will kill you in front of your family, then kill your family.
To me, this seems like quite a bit on someones mind to keep them awake.
So why do they drink espresso out of those tiny cups?
It just doesn’t make any sense.
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