Jerry Zeinfeld » technology http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com The best site on the web. Comma. Mon, 05 Apr 2010 20:17:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 en hourly 1 How Amazon and Apple should start pricing their books http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2010/02/04/how-amazon-and-apple-should-start-pricing-their-books/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2010/02/04/how-amazon-and-apple-should-start-pricing-their-books/#comments Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:10:53 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=1608
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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2010/02/04/how-amazon-and-apple-should-start-pricing-their-books/feed/ 0 george foremenijad grill on sale now http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2008/01/25/george-foremenijad-grill-on-sale-now/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2008/01/25/george-foremenijad-grill-on-sale-now/#comments Fri, 25 Jan 2008 04:10:56 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=102
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No related posts.]]> When Iran isn’t working on their nuclear program, their scientists are busy on other important things in life.

For instance, they have created these handy attachments to your car exhaust that enable a human to make hamburgers on the go!  They must know us Americans love a good burger!

Iran_exhaust_burger_1

Iran_exhaust_burger_2


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2008/01/25/george-foremenijad-grill-on-sale-now/feed/ 0 sharp aquos jacktards http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/29/sharp-aquos-jacktards/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/29/sharp-aquos-jacktards/#comments Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:56:26 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=176 More >
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Isn’t this retarded?  Not only will I NEVER see myself dancing around with my LCD, I do not even allow anyone to get within three feet of it at the risk they could damage it.  Who really cares if it is that much slimmer? It goes on the wall!  Heres an idea, MAKE THEM CHEAPER!

Oh, I see, a girl comes over on a Saturday night, its not "how big is your johnson" anymore, its "how  slim is your LCD" ok. got it. great.


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/29/sharp-aquos-jacktards/feed/ 0 what’s my age again? http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/05/whats-my-age-again/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/05/whats-my-age-again/#comments Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:00:38 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=227
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No related posts.]]> Take everything you ever knew about prank calls and throw it out the window.

This just proves that some people are so much smarter than us. I mean, most people are so much smarter than us.

http://www.spoofcard.com/


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/11/05/whats-my-age-again/feed/ 0 micro, FACE! http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/10/25/micro-face/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/10/25/micro-face/#comments Thu, 25 Oct 2007 15:24:31 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=241 More >
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No related posts.]]> Finally, results!

It looks like our friends at Microsoft have decided to pay $240 million for a 1.6% stake in Facebook.

I know, I know, we all would have preffered Google to do it because they are cooler than Microsoft.

You win some, you lose some.

Another college dropout to add to the richie list…

Bill Gates

Larry Ellison

Paul Allen

Steve Jobs

Kanye West

Michael Dell


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/10/25/micro-face/feed/ 0 imagine that http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/26/imagine-that/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/26/imagine-that/#comments Tue, 26 Jun 2007 06:32:30 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=309
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No related posts.]]> Do you ever get in a fight with your girlfriend and just wish you could hit Ctrl + Alt + Del so you can start her all over again?


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/26/imagine-that/feed/ 0 marriage 2007 http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/12/marriage-2007/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/12/marriage-2007/#comments Tue, 12 Jun 2007 10:51:00 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=319 More >
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No related posts.]]> When I get married.

The first thing I do before is get a prenuptial agreement.

If we divorce, so what? Big woop. Girls are a dime a dozen.  Google search girl and you get 385 million results.  I am sure I can replace her at least by the third page of results.

So, take my house, take my cars, shit, take my savings.

But I’ll be damned if that bitch goes near my Itunes collection.  She can go fuck herself.


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/06/12/marriage-2007/feed/ 0 KWAPEH KWAPEH KWAPEH! http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/05/02/kwapeh-kwapeh-kwapeh/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/05/02/kwapeh-kwapeh-kwapeh/#comments Wed, 02 May 2007 05:31:00 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=355
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No related posts.]]> I predict World War III will be started not because of Al Qaeda, Iran, nuclear war, or even global warming, but it will start in a small movie theatre in Bakersfield, CA when they bring TIVO to the movie theatre.


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/05/02/kwapeh-kwapeh-kwapeh/feed/ 0 you are geting on our nerves http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/04/04/you-are-geting-on-our-nerves/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/04/04/you-are-geting-on-our-nerves/#comments Wed, 04 Apr 2007 06:19:00 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=394 More >
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No related posts.]]> Apple,

I think I speak for the rest of us when I say it is time to stop advertising the ipod.  Everyone has one, we know – it’s the best.  It’s easy to use, it’s aesthetically pleasing, now just stop.  You are wasting your money (which you could actually be spending on making it thinner).  We want them, we need 7500 songs in our pockets, hundreds of movies and we want to carry 50,000 pictures at all times.

Remember how annoying it was when Mcdonalds would tell us how many people they had sold to?

Tag, you’re it.


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]]> http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/04/04/you-are-geting-on-our-nerves/feed/ 0 sad but true http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/03/06/sad-but-true/ http://www.jerryzeinfeld.com/2007/03/06/sad-but-true/#comments Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:38:43 +0000 Jerry Zeinfeld http://jerryzeinfeld.com/?p=446 More >
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No related posts.]]> Next time you ask your friend to look at their cell phone, think about this.

It was probably in the bathroom with them.  When they were on the toilet, they probably checked messages, and if they had the capabilities, browsed around on the internet and even sent emails, they maybe even took pictures!

Then they got up, wiped their butt and went back went on with their day.

Don’t believe me?  Where do you think I am writing this message from right now?

Checkmate.


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