The best site on the web. Comma.
health
ten days late
Jul 2nd
i need a maid, i mean a wife
Jun 16th
Dear Science,
How come my shower tub gets dirty? Yes, sometimes I go in there dirty, whether it’s from the gym, working in the garden, or regular daily grime. But I wash myself with soap and the water is running constantly. Why does this combination of water and soap not keep the tub clean all the time?
I don’t get it.
Does soap not do anything to tubs? Maybe we should start making tubs out of humans, because I know it works on them.
clip tuck
Mar 15th
I don’t have much need for fake tits other than to touch them.
Laser surgery? I am really not that hairy.
Nose job? Perfect nose, and I’m jewish.
Calf implants? Go Fuck yourself.
What I could use is nail shortening surgery. No matter how often I cut them, whenever I look down they seem to be too long again. Then it takes me two days to remember to cut them and by this time they are ridiculous.
Could you please just do something to me so they will stop growing so I can get to work?
sad but true
Mar 6th
Next time you ask your friend to look at their cell phone, think about this.
It was probably in the bathroom with them. When they were on the toilet, they probably checked messages, and if they had the capabilities, browsed around on the internet and even sent emails, they maybe even took pictures!
Then they got up, wiped their butt and went back went on with their day.
Don’t believe me? Where do you think I am writing this message from right now?
Checkmate.
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