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Jerry Zeinfeld Undercover: Light ‘n’ Bullshit
Apr 5th
Seems like our friends at tropicana have thrown out a little twister of their own.
The following are the nutritional facts of two of their products. One being their Tropicana Calcium + Vitamin D Orange Juice. The other being their new product, Light N Healthy with Calcium (I decided to compare orange to half oranges here and am using the Tropicana + calcium since they do not have a plain light n healthy to compare to, which you will notice contains the addition of the FruitCal which adds the artificial calcium).
As you can see, the secret ingredient to making their product is simple: Just add water! 58% more water than juice to be exact. So what are they doing with all of this extra juice they are saving?
That’s so Gaza!®
Oct 14th
Today’s headline comes from our least favorite terrorist place in the world – Gaza. It seems like the park officials there have decided to remedy their ailing national zoo and park industry with some new 21st century innovations. Part 1 of the new marketing campaign has them painting donkeys with black and white stripes to look like Zebras (see picture above). Phase 2 involves them cutting off the legs of lizards for the new snake petting area they plan to open as well as cutting the legs off of octopus’s and surgically combining them with other octopus’s to form the worlds only Dodectapus filled aquarium.
Previously they had been running a similar type of program to get people to come to the park – it offered terrorists under 60″ a reduced price for admission – unfortunately they all died in suicide bombings and could not take advantage of the discount.
If you have any other ideas they should consider leave them in the comments!
Jacktard of the week
Sep 18th
Our idiot of the day award goes to Jonathan Parker, a 19 year old Pennsylvania kid who decided it would be a good idea to check his Facebook account while robbing a house. Problem is is that he forgot to log out of the computer when he left, leaving a simple trail for the police to follow.
Mazal Tov!
MARTINSBURG – The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an alleged burglar’s arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim’s computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond rings.
Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.
According to court records, Deputy P.D. Ware of the Berkeley County Sheriff’s Department responded on Aug. 28 to the victim’s home after she reported the burglary.
She told police that someone had broken into her home through a bedroom window.
There were open cabinets in her garage, and other signs of a burglar.
The victim later noticed that the intruder also used her computer to check his Facebook status, and his account was still open when she checked the computer.
The victim later noticed that she was missing two diamond rings from her dresser in the same room as her computer.
The two rings were worth more than $3,500, reports indicate.
During the investigation, a friend of the victim told her that he knew where Parker was staying, in the same area as the victim’s house.
Police then went to the home and spoke with a friend of Parker’s.
The man said Parker had stopped by his home occasionally, but he said the man didn’t live there.
He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim’s home but he refused.
As of Tuesday evening, Parker remained in custody at the Eastern Regional Jail on $10,000 bail.
If convicted he faces one to 10 years in prison.
A Letter to Rupert Murdoch
Aug 20th
Dear Fox,
I think should you should just have a whole season of American Idol just to decide who should replace Paula Abdul.
Why not milk the franchise for as much money as you can?
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