The best site on the web. Comma.
thanks, but no thanks
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You know what? I like to hold my sneezes in and save them for church. Honestly, I get a lot more out of having the head minister of a church saying “g-d bless you” than the idiot working next to my cubicle.
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This entry was posted by Jerry Zeinfeld on January 26, 2008 at 1:55 pm, and is filled under zeinfeldisms. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.
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Want to be an Office Comedian?
about 2 years ago - No comments
Office humor advice: When there is a weird (but good) smell floating around the office, and for example someone says “it smells like pizza in here” – just say “it’s my new cologne, ‘pizza’.” Then insert a famous perfume makers name here like Gucci, while also changing the food name to something more elegant.
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Jerry Zeinfeld…
about 2 years ago - No comments
is more tired than Michelin.
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about 2 years ago - No comments
You know what would suck?
A real fire after a fire drill.
Goodluck convincing people to go back outside.
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about 2 years ago - No comments
It’s funny when people try to put too much paper into the shredder. They spend more time trying to take out the paper that got stuck instead of just following the rules.
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You Know What Grind’s My Gears?
about 2 years ago - No comments
I hate these people who update their voice messages at work to announce every moment they are in or out of the office. Well, actually come to think of it it’s kind of like a pre-historic status update. Ok nevermind I like them again.
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The 9-5
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Is it just me or do a majority of meetings consist of just planning the next meeting?
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60 degreeZ in nYc in january
about 4 years ago - No comments
how come we cant convince our bosses at work to let us work outside? in elementary school if the weather was nice we could go under a tree and have class.
it would be nice once in a while
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about 4 years ago - No comments
How come athletes are the only ones with access to “performance enhancing drugs.”
The only thing available for doctors, accountants, lawyers and McDonalds workers is coffee.
This is a HIGHLY unfair isn’t it?
Maybe we shouldn’t get mad athletes when they take those things, if there was something we could inject into our asses to work better we’d More >
ass of u and me
about 4 years ago - No comments
I am a man who loves to make assumptions, so I am going to assume that in the old days, when people were fired from their jobs, they were actually set on fire.
Actually, now that I think about it, why did we ever stop this practice? How much harder would you work if being engulfed More >
coffee
about 4 years ago - No comments
The key to good coffee, is bad coffee.
If the coffee is good, you’ll drink a lot, and a lot isn’t good for you.
If it’s bad, youll drink just enough to keep you awake, and that’s all you need. Unless of course, you need more coffee.
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